Haily I think came to the realization that if I had turned it over, that meant that I didn't like what was on there so she didn't question my actions. Samantha, how ever, was upset that I had turned it over because she was trying to read the front page. I asked her why it was so important to her that she needed to read it and her response was that she felt like she needed to read the tips on how to get a 'sexy' body. I was absolutely shocked and part of me hurt inside that this nine year old girl felt like she needed to have what society deems as a 'sexy body.' I told her she had no reason to read that because she was absolutely beautiful and I began to tell her what about her makes her beautiful because looks aren't everything. Thankfully, she dropped the subject after that. I didn't know what was the right thing to say to her about the magazine ads, nor did I know what was appropriate to say to her.
There have been a few times where Samantha has made a few sexual comments after that trip to the store. I won't go into details as to what she has said, but I have been so shocked by her answers that all I can think of telling her is that what she said is not appropriate and then she of course asks me 'why,' and again, I don't know what to tell her, other than "we will discuss it later when your sister isn't here." So here is where I need your help. What do you think I could have done differently about the situation? Do you think that this is something I needed to talk to her mom about and let her be the one to handle the situation? What do you think I should have said to her? What do you think is the right thing to say? Am I crossing a line by discussing this with her since she is not my child?
I honestly don't even know if I am asking the right questions, but the point that I am trying to explain is that I just don't know what to do when these situations come up and I don't know if discussing this matter is my place to do so or not, but I also feel like brushing it under the rug and not discussing it with her is the wrong thing to do.
HELP!
I definitely think your first line of defense should be to talk to her mom about it. It's really sad that girls that young are dealing with body issues (they don't even yet have their finished bodies!) but it's more something to let the mom deal with, or at least find out how she would like you dealing with it. For the most part though I would try to make positive comments that aren't body centered. Tell her she's beautiful, but encourage her to be smart, or funny or kind. If she will focus on those more important, but often overlooked, traits I think that will ultimately help her realize what's most important. Good luck!
ReplyDelete(I've already responded to Brittny's post, so for every one else who is still reading, please read this!!)
ReplyDeleteAfter re reading my post, I realized that I left a piece of the puzzle out. Her parents are divorced. Her dad lives with his girlfriend who is the mother of the twins. Her dad struggles with this subject too and when I asked him about it, he said he doesn't even talk about it with her. He said he just leaves it alone. And I never see her mom, but I will do what I can to get in contact with her!