To set the Roots or let them Grow

Ugh.. I HATE this discussion...

Jayson and I went up to Logan, Utah to visit his Grandparents/family for Thanksgiving. I was actually super excited to head back up there. I really do miss it there.. (remember this post...?)

As we were driving through Salt Lake, I couldn't help but look out the window and try and find where our old/first apartment was. I miss that stupid little thing (okay..it actually was rather large) and its ridiculous half-shelves, black carpet stain in the bedroom, no-light-fixtures-because-it's-"more-modern", the dent in the wall by the stairs from crushing Jayson's wrist between the couch and the wall as we moved our first couches in. I miss looking out my window at the snow falling. I miss running upstairs to jump into a hot bath on cold winter days. I miss sitting at the park reading books on hot summer days. I miss being close to friends.. I miss being close to family.. I miss seeing at least six temples within a half hour drive of each other. But it's just not California..

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Jayson and I went on a morning walk on Saturday with his family before we packed up to head home. I think I was carrying our youngest nephew, Daniel? Or maybe it was Skylar... Any way, we walked past a beautiful, stone covered house that was two stories, and had a 3 car garage, a huge backyard, and over looked Millville. Jayson semi-jokingly said that that house was probably only $300,000-$400,000 (a complete guess by the way..). To us, a$3-400,000 home is ridiculously cheap. That same $300,000 home here in California would easily be between the higher end of $800,000- $1.2 million (again, another guess). And as picky as Jayson and I can be about the way we want our house to be, we would easily be buying a multi-million dollar California home if we had all the money in the world to spend on a home.. The housing market in California right now is ridiculous.. Although it is in the lower end of things right now, it's going to pick up again fairly soon and the reality of the situation is, we just don't have the money to afford living here.

We have talked about moving back again.. but I'm still hesitant to do so. I love California.. I'm such a California girl. I live for the 80 degree weather, salt in the air and sand in my hair vibe and stereotype that comes with "Blond hair, blue eyed, California Girl" label. And not like this is the deciding factor or anything, but I like being closer to Disneyland, in case I ever can convince Jayson into going more than once a year. I like being close to the first temple I've ever been inside. I love being close to my family again, even if they can be extremely overwhelming to be around..

Don't get me wrong, I do know that we are exactly where the Lord needs us.. which is here, back home. We know that there is a reason we are here, and for now we are meant to stay here in California. But for how long? Who knows.. We're not planning on leaving anytime soon, but once we're done with the tasks at hand, we'll turn to the Lord and ask where we need to go next..

If we were to move back to Utah..

I would want to live somewhere between Salt Lake and Draper. That's my favorite part of Utah. It's beautiful there. I remember one night when Jayson was working at Cafe Rio in South Jordan and wouldn't be off work until around midnight, so I called my friend Sonia and we drove around for a few hours while I waited. I remember driving through Day Break area and thinking "If I were to own a house, it would be here."

My sister-in-law, Brittny, lives on a mountain in Draper. Her house is gorgeous and she has a great neighborhood and it over looks Saratoga Springs and American Fork. The view there is to die for. The only thing that I don't like about it is that its on a mountain. I would be so beyond scared to drive up or down that mountain in the snow... If we move back, we are not moving on top of a mountain..

It would be nice to live in a house that we can actually afford. It would be nice to be able to either custom build our home, or to remodel a home. (I wouldn't want to stay there forever though... eventually I'd want to live in California forever. ) I think I would actually enjoy a basement.. I would love to have a real white Christmas. I would love to be able to wake up every morning, Monday-Saturday, and spend a different morning at Draper/South Jordan/Oquirrh Mt./ Bountiful/Salt Lake/or Mt. Timpanogos Temple(s) on six different days out of the week. I would love to pick my kids up from school and taking them to play in the snow, or taking them to the temple for a picnic on the grounds. I would love to watch my kids wake up on a snow day and play in the snow all day. I would love to be able to actually rake up real piles of colorful leaves and let my kids jump in them. Dead leaves are stupid and plain...

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But even as much as I would 'like' to go back to Utah,

I still hope the Lord would rather keep us here in California...