I'd rather be in Disneyland...

Story. of. my life...

It's April (well, tomorrow it will be). My birthday isn't even until August. That's still like.. 4 months to they date (tomorrow) away. But ever since I was little...and little as I can remember.. I go through what I call a "Disney Process" before my birthday.

1. Remember 1 Saturday Morning on Disney Channel back in the 90's?
   Every Saturday, I would watch that.
   Every. Single. Saturday.
   
   
2. Remember those Disney Sing-A-Long VHS tapes?
   I had the one called Disneyland Fun.
   I watched it over, and over, and over, and over
   every day until my birthday
   starting in....March

   
   
3. Every time my mom walked by, I would ask her how many days were left until my birthday.
   Then I would tell my brother and all my friends that I was going to Disneyland in ___days.
   
   
4. Did you ever have the Disney Classic CDs?
   I listened to them when I packed for our trip.
   I listened to them everywhere.
   I even forced my dad to play it in the car on the drive down
   
   
5. I would pack everything I could into this tiny red suitcase......in June.
   And then I would put it in my moms car so I wouldn't forget to bring it.
   
   
6. We used to leave for Disneyland and four or five in the morning
   (it was only an hour and a half drive, but we wanted to beat LA traffic on the 405)
   Mom and Dad always said that if we didn't sleep, we wouldn't go into the park till after we checked into our hotel....but do you really think I slept?
   Of course not... I held the blanket in front of my face and quietly sang along to the disneymusic

   
   
7. Erik and I played a game...
   a game I continue to play with Jayson when we go
   See who can find a Disneyland billboard, Disneyland sign, the Matterhorn, or any attraction in California Adventure from the freeway first.
   
   
8. I always win that game.
   
   
9. Get to the Disneyland Parking Structure right when it opens- 6:30am
   
   
10. Be first in line when the gates open

Let the Memories Begin

Like I said, it is now April. And alllllll I have been doing is adding pin after pin after pin to my Disney Board on Pinterest, and I've been absolutely hooked on this Tumblr I found.

Click here to see why:

http://simpledisneythings.com/page/264

(sorry.. I couldn't find the beginning....)

I YouTube that Disneyland Fun Sing-A-Long video I mentioned earlier, as well as Fantasmic and World of Color and any other Disneyland junk I can find. I've never seen the Fantasmic from Walt Disney World... maybe I'll search that today....

Birthday Must- Do's for Disneyland

(and I mean that literally, because I do it every year)

1. Get as close to the Disneyland gate as possible
   
   
2. Skip down Main Street, USA
   
   
3. Stand on the Golden Spot in the Center of Disneyland
   (do you know where it is?)
   
   
4. Sing a long on all the rides
   
   
5. Eat Pineapple Dole Whip
   
   
6. Be the last one to leave the park
   ...and throw a 'mature' tantrum when you have to leave
   
   
7. Watch the last showing of Fantasmic
   and dance to Mickey's opening dance
   
   
8. Ride the Haunted Mansion at 9:10am,
   that way when you enter the ballroom, you blow out the candles on the cake at 9:15
   (because that's what time I was born)
   
   
9. Watch the Fireworks from our hotel balcony
   
   
10. Ride every single ride
    every. single. ride.
    
    
    

Things that were Tradition when I was younger
(but stopped when I was 16, because I started going with my husband...and they're expensive things...)

1. Stay at the Disneyland Hotel
   
   
2. Eat breakfast at Goofy's Kitchen
   (and one year, Goofy asked me to marry him)
   
   
3. Eat at Club 33
   (be jealous kids...)
   
   
   ......can we leave yet?!

General Conference Broadcast!

(click the above picture, you'll be glad you did)

General Conference is my absolute favorite!

I am so thankful that every April and October, we have the opportunity to listen to the teachings of our Prophet, Church Leaders, Apostles, etc. I am so blessed! The crazy thing is that each and every one of them always speaks/has spoken about things that I need to hear. I am grateful for their words of wisdom and guidance. I am grateful for the Spirit that I feel, even if I am just at home watching the broadcast online. I am grateful for the opportunity to allow my testimony to grow and strengthen. I am grateful for this gospel; for the life it has given me. I do not know everything there is to know about this church, or the past prophets, or all of the stories in the BoM and the Bible that most of my LDS friends grew up learning. I don't know all the primary songs, nor did I have the opportunity to be apart of Young Women's from the time I was 12 till I turned 16 (though I did have the chance to be a Laurel while I was 16 and 17). But I am still learning. My faith is being tested every day. I am grateful that I now live near 6 temples within an hour drive from each other. I am blessed to have such amazing family and friends be apart of my life...

I know that my Redeemer lives. I know that Christ is the Son of God, and that my Father in Heaven loves me unconditionally and has faith in me. I know that I am a daughter of God and that he is proud of the person I have become. I am thankful for the opportunity I will have to be sealed to my husband and my future family for time and all eternity. I know that Joseph Smith saw God and Christ in the Sacred Grove. I'm thankful for the bravery, love, and faith that Joseph Smith had to share the gospel, regardless of his fear of no one listening. I am grateful for his triumph and strength... With out this gospel, I would be lost......

How far I've come

"I think you turn, turn the clock, but I don't really know

And I can't remember caring for an hour or so

Started crying and I couldn't stop myself

I started running but there was nowhere to run to..."

-Matchbox Twenty.

Four years ago (about), my life changed.

I was just barly sixteen, starting my Junior Year of high school, living at home with my parents. I was a Martial Artist by day and a partier by night.. My parents were in the middle of their biggest fight ever. It was summer of 2008, and my life was drawing closer to a close before it had even begun.

I always considered myself to be 'above the normal teenage crowd,' but truthfully, I wasn't. Let me explain. 90% of the kids at school all went to raves, smoked crack/E/etc. and all I did was drink and smoke (nothing major so 'I was better than the rest' in my mind. This summer was the hardest summer of my life. My parents constantly fought and I felt like I was always dragged into the middle and everything was blamed on me. I literally could not handle it. So what was the example I had in my home for then things got hard? Smoke till your so high that you just don't care anymore, or drink till you pass out or fall asleep. Not joking. And the worst part is? I didn't rise to the name of 'big sister' by doing this.. all I did was set the wrong example for my brother.. who now, four years later, is still walking down the path that I once did and is only getting worse.... and he's turning seventeen this Saturday..

I remember night after night, I would call my friends, who had just graduated that June, and begged them to come pick me up, and I would disappear for a day or two. I'd just do whatever I wanted, with my friends, and life felt amazing. Why? I can't remember 95% of those times I was with them...

So fast forward to August of 2008. After I came home from spending a few days in Disneyland for my birthday, like I do every year, I went out with one of my best friends to this guys house that she was kind of dating.. Lets just say this. We were drinking, we got there at 8pm, I remember sitting at the kitchen table, driving to my friends house, her and I both crying hysterically on her moms bed while she gave us sprite and saltine crackers, and watching Sesame Street at three in the morning. I chose right then and there to never drink or smoke another day in my life. But something still was missing.. something still was wrong.. and I knew that I was not being the person I was supposed to be... but who was I supposed to be?

A few weeks later, Jayson and I started dating. He asked me to come to a missionary lesson. And this day, changed my life for good, and that void I had been missing finally was being filled. I finally had an answer. I don't remember anything from the lesson, other than this. I was staring into a small pamphlet, with a picture of this white building with a gold figurine on top, over looking Los Angeles, California (which was thirty minutes away from where I used to live) and all I remember is my vision becoming super blurry from the massive amounts of tears that were streaming down my face...and I didn't know why. The missionaries look at me with blank expressions and asked me what I was thinking. Jayson later told me that I said said something about seeing a room, with a picture of Christ being baptized, benches on the side, and a giant pool/tub thing..with sculpted cows underneath. But I didn't understand why that had made me cry. The missionaries asked me if I saw or remembered anything else and I said that I had seen Jayson standing there in white, waiting for me.

After the lesson, I was asked to say the closing prayer. That was the first time I had ever prayed before. And I just remember trying so hard to fight back all of the tears, and I swear I spoke for almost twenty minutes... but I had my answer, my answer about me..

I needed that lesson. I needed to have that 'dream/vision' of the Baptismal Font and seeing Jayson there waiting for me. I needed to feel that unconditional love from my Heavenly Father. I needed to know that I was not a lost cause. I needed to feel that I had the power to change my life. I needed to feel and know, that I am a daughter of God...

Not only is August 1st my 20th birthday, but it is also my two year baptism anniversary. While I have been attending church for the past four years and have been an official member for two, I can honestly say that the decision I made to go to church saved my life.. But over the four years, I haven't been as valiant as I should be. I completely fail at saying prayers twice a day, and saying them out loud. I still haven't read the Bible from start to finish, nor have I read The Book of Mormon more than once all the way through from start to finish. I still have so much room to grow... but I literally would be lost without this gospel..

A few nights ago, as I was laying in bed, I had this overwhelming urge to cry. I fought the tears as hard as I could, mostly because Jayson was in the other room and I didn't want to worry him cause honestly, I didn't even understand why I was crying. And then.... this song was playing in my head:

I've come so far.
But I also have come too close to giving up..

Don't ever give up.

i love you

Tonight, my in-laws drove to Utah for Spring Break so we all went out to dinner at Cafe Rio. Before I left, Jayson's co-workers's mom came up to me and said that he always says sweet things about me, that we are the cutest couple, that she has never seen a man more in love and she knows that we are meant to be together :') ya..that made me teary-eyed.. just a bit.

Oh P.S. 7 months married today ♥

Monday Confessional

I love blogging. I get so many fun inspirations from fellow bloggers :)

Monday Confessional has made its way to my blog! Basically, every Monday, I am going to find something(s) that I could improve on and then use the rest of that week to fix them. I decided to share with you so that you might feel inspired to share what your struggles are, or to help you feel like your not the only fish out there with a bad fin out there.

Join Me?

1. I must work out more. Jayson and I bought a gym pass last weekend, and I haven't been in three days. Two of those days I was just being lazy, and one of those days I had 'that time of month' excuse. Well, no one loses weight by saying they'll work it off... I need to be better at keeping to my gym schedule
   
   
2. I could do better Spiritually. Life is really great at getting in the way of important things. I feel like I have almost no time to myself lately. Work has been crazy, ontop of also trying to cram in gym time. It's starting to beat down on my daily prayers and scripture study and I shouldn't let slip away. I need to be better.
   
   
3. I need to not be lazy. I swear, the only time our apartment ever gets cleaned properly is when friends come over... That needs to change. I'm currently looking at 4 full trash bags just sitting on the floor. It's disgusting.. Maybe we do need to go back to childhood and get a chore chart started again....?

Trust

-this topic was requested by a fellow blog follower-

So one of you lovely followers of mine has asked me to talk about Trust. More specifically about how trust works between my husband and myself.

Whelp, lets be honest here...
I had to/still am working long an hard to rebuild trust in my relationship. Now don't twist that sentence too much, Jayson and I are as in love as ever and we are doing just fine and dandy :) But I haven't always been that perfect little angel. I'm not going to go into details on that matter.

So here all about our good ol' pal, trust.
Trust has to be built with a good foundation. That foundation is Christ, and our Heavenly Father. While you have to trust Them that any given situation can progress to happiness and joy, you have to trust your spouse that they will work just as hard, if not harder, than you will. That could be with the smallest of things, or something big and monstrous! It's relying on the other and believing that they are willing to make the situation better. If you can't trust yourself, your spouse, or Heavenly Father, then who can you trust? No one.

Maybe I'm not dong a terribly good job at explaining this... It basically breaks down to this. When you are struggling, or even just unsure of what to do, fall to your knees, with your spouse, and pray. Ask for strength. Ask for guidance, Ask for love. Ask for support. Ask for everything. A seed cannot grow without the proper soil. It cannot grow if it isn't nourished. It needs water, sunlight, constant care, and love.

......Unconditional Love

-Ahem-

Allow me to tell you about my number one life quote:

Ask Me Anything

Dear Everyone,

On Facebook, I am apart of two groups, MG Sorority Sisters & I have a Returned Missionary. Recently, people have told me that they like having me apart of the group because they enjoy the advice I give and like to hear updates on my life as a young, married woman and it helps them look forward to the occasion. So here is what I am asking you.

Tell me what you would like to know.
What would you like to hear?

I want to help you, motivate you, inspire you.

Ready? Set... GO!

Love,
Ashley

Yes, I am still alive

Hello Beautiful!

I am still alive an well :)
allow me to update you

Whelp, I'm sorry for being M. I.A. So much has happened this month!
So first of all, we crashed our car back in January and had to take the bus around for a month. Let me tell you, I dreaded that. I probably wouldn't have minded so much if it was spring instead of winter... but hey..what can you do? It was also somewhat of a blessing.. I guess. Ya it sucked to have to fork over $75 a person for a pass, and build your schedule around the bus schedule, but at least we weren't paying for gas. We used to drive a 2003 Lincoln Aviatior that my uncle had gotten me as a high school graduation present, and it cost $75 bucks a week to fill that tank. At least with the bus pass, it was a one time fee. We were counting down the days until we could get a car. We did end up buying a 2008 Black Chevy Malibu at the end of February. We got an awesome deal on it, and even though I was stuck at work while Jayson went to the dealership and wasn't able to actually pick the car, I trusted his judgement and I'm so glad I did! He told me about this car and said he felt like it was the car for us. I will admit I was a little upset that I didn't get to help pick and choose but once I realized that this was a missionary car (and I mean that literally) that he drove while he was on his mission in Denver, and all the missionaries in my home state (We're from the Ventura California Mission) drove them, I didn't even care that I didn't get to test drive it myself..so we drove it off the lot that night :)

Not too much other than that has changed. Jayson and I still work on 3300 S. (about a 5 minute drive away from each other), we still live in our same apartment and probably wont be moving till around Jayson's birthday or after mine, depending on where he is at with promotions and such with work, same ol' stuff.

& there you have it :)